The average American eats 100 pounds of live spiders a night. Now, we all know this totally verifiable, true fact. But most people don’t realize that it wasn’t always the case.

In 1936, a spider/musician known only as Mr. Nimbles released the smash hit “(The Inside of a Sleeping Person’s Mouth is) The Best Place to Die”. (Always remember to whisper the part in parentheses.) Before this, the average American was lucky to swallow a single pound of live spiders in a night. But after the popularization of this catchy tune, spiders nearing their demise (most spiders die after a few months of life) were flocking to the closest bedroom to end their life inside a sleeping person’s mouth.

Why am I telling you all of this when you could easily research it yourself if you gave even a single shit about anything?

The point is that a single song can change the world.

It might be hard to remember, but until the mid 1990s it was typical for teens to go steady throughout high school and then get married immediately after graduation. In fact, it was so common that the high school principal would usually perform a mass marriage ceremony as soon as all the graduate’s caps had hit the ground. More than one inattentive grad ended up accidentally married by remaining in her seat too long.

The song Popular by Nada Surf changed all that:

After this song came out, while teen pregnancy remained as common as ever, teen marriage became far less common. And, unlike Mr. Nimbles, Nada Surf managed to remain alive long enough after the recording of the song to make a music video.

Let’s take a look.

It opens with some cheerleaders (inexplicably in uniform) chatting by a locker.

Then we see a teacher addressing the class. He must be a substitute because he writes his name on the board and we can infer that it isn’t the first day of school because there appears to be other writing on the board already as well.

He is lecturing about being direct when breaking up with someone.

The cheerleader starts daydreaming about someone.

Is is someone she loves, or is she thinking about breaking up with this person?

Turns out its the quarterback.

A cop or overzealous security guard pops up to inspect his locker.

The teacher gets really passionate during his speech, removing his glasses partially to make a point and partially to wipe a portion of the copious sweat he’s worked up.

In a bold move, he emphasizes another point by emphatically putting his glasses back on.

For some reason he uses two hands.

In an even bolder move, he immediately removes his glasses again for emphasis. He’s truly a master of glasses-based rhetoric.

The cheerleader nods along to the speech. It all makes sense!

Then, we see Nada Surf playing in the football field between the football team’s practice and the cheerleading team’s practice.

The coach helpfully yells abusive encouragement at the quarterback.

Oh man, the singer/guitar player is the teacher and the drummer is the football coach.

And the bass player is the cop.

I kinda like how they have the drummer on stage and also coaching the team.

Now the teacher needs visual aids to describe the steps needed to be attractive enough to find a high school mate.

My favorite slide is this person who is somehow simultaneously smiling and flossing.

The cheerleader day dreams about the quarterback.

Then, the teacher starts to describe what all his speechifying has been leading up to: a one month limit on going steady.

The cheerleader kisses the quarterback in the stands.

Suddenly, though, she hits her limit.

I really love actively kissing him and then suddenly rejecting him as if he is disgusting. Classic high school move.

While still sitting in the stands, she spots her next man.

What a cool sexy dude.

The quarterback hits the showers.

Meanwhile, the cheerleader and her new man make up for lost time in the stands.

Then he hits the showers.

But there’s no hard feelings.

Really, that message of “no hard feelings” is what changed the world. I almost wish I was back in high school.

Almost.

-PTD