“Always open with a quote.”

-Oscar Wilde

Danzig knows this lesson well. Check check it:

As the name suggests, this is a very psychological video. There are multiple dualities present: light and dark, mother and father, virgin and whore, hooded sweatshirts and sleevelessness. The video takes place in our protagonists mind as he struggles between good and evil.

It is amazing how this video can do so much with so little. The background is totally black so all you see is the actors and the occasional prop. This lets you focus on how magnetic Danzig is. You get occasional glimpses of the rest of his band’s hair flying around but this is clearly all about Danzig. Here he is half in the light and half in the darkness as he ponders the inner world of the mother.

Then: FATHER!

He opens his eyes as he enters the external world of the father. He also sounds and looks increasingly angry. Is he angry at his father? Did he get a bicycle instead of a car on his 16th birthday? Maybe nothing that bad, but he is so angry that he decides to embrace the darkness:

He is lit from below in the standard ghost story manner. You can imagine him saying, “The hooked hand called from inside the house saying that she died three years ago on this very night!!!” His features take on a hellish expression as the shadow of his nose gives him a reverse devil lock.

Having fully turned to evil, Danzig decides to menace some women.

So menacing. He chooses to menace two different women. He doesn’t want to feel tied down at this point in his life.

First we have this woman:

Look how menaced she is. She clearly represents a good woman who has not been corrupted by the world, like Jane Eyre.

Then Danzig menaces this woman:

She apparently likes being menaced, like Gene Simmons’s wife Shannon Tweed. She represents the fallen woman. This means that, unlike a good woman, she probably has opinions and uses a diva cup instead of tampons.

Now begins the danse macabre in the form of an alluring guitar solo. You can hear the musical allusions to Saint- Saëns, Deep Purple, and “Pop Goes the Weasel.”

A devil performs a perverted baptism:

Based on the baptee’s nipple area, I’d say she was totally nude. And why does the devil have long fingers? The better to touch your head with, my nude darling. Ok, this is getting crazy!

Shannon finds this very groovy and does a sexy dance:

Meanwhile, Jane needs some more convincing in the form of significant glances.

Clearly, Jane is still not convinced. Danzig finds her fear intriguing. He suspects that she is playing hard to get. There is only one solution: to reveal himself in his full glory:

This is just like the end of The Sixth Sense. He’s been wearing a hoodie with the sleeves cut off the entire time! And look at those muscles! It’s always been my dream to some day look good enough to rock this look. I’d probably have to quit my job at that point because I would be unwilling to wear any non-cut-off-hoodie clothing. Hold onto your seats and keep a fresh pair of pants nearby, though, because this is only the second-most-shocking revelation of the video.

Jane is placed on an altar for some sort of ritual:

Danzig is accompanied by his fabulous assistant, Shannon. He produces a chicken from thin air! I’ve seen this done with doves, but to my knowledge this is a first in flight of hand.

THEN HE FUCKING RIPS THE CHICKEN IN HALF! HOLY SHIT! BLOOD GETS EVERYWHERE!

This is just like the second half of Roadhouse where you think you’re having a good time and then Patrick Swayze rips a dude’s throat out. Both the chicken and the blood come from nowhere. I don’t know if it is possible for a normal person to just rip a chicken in half but Danzig has really beefy arms. I was so shocked by this event that I had to watch the video about 100 times before I noticed what happens next.

Now Shannon is on the altar, not Jane! The ritual somehow caused the two to switch places.

Now Jane is corrupted!

So what does this mean? I suspect nothing. But whoa.

-PTD