It can be difficult to make a song for a video with a political message. You don’t want to ignore your message and just have the video about something else. At the same time, though, you don’t want to end up making a video like this one for Runaway Train by Soul Asylum. That’s not so much a music video as it is a public service announcement.

So what do you do? Well, if you are a punk band from the ’80s casting Ronald Reagan in your video is certainly a good start.

Check it out - This Ain’t No Picnic by Minutemen:

What is the message of this song? I guess it is that working sucks. This is true. But Minutemen don’t just mean that they don’t like their jobs. Most jobs are demeaning. Most jobs could be done by anyone or by a machine and provide no satisfaction to the worker. Yet we need to work to pay for our lives. All of this is obvious. But Minutemen are mad about it!

The video opens with a plane. Where is it going? What does it represent?

Once we see who is flying the plane it becomes clear. The plane represents the Man.

That’s Ronald Reagan! How did they convince him to appear in the video? How did they get him to look so young? I guess these answers are unknowable.

Minutemen harness the power of stock footage next. We see people on girders.

Guys moving some metal stuff while covered in grime.

Dudes lifting something heavy.

These jobs suck. I imagine that all of the men pictured died at 38 from massive body failure. I believe it was Oscar Wilde who said, “It ain’t no crime to be poor, but it might as well be.” Well these guys are certainly criminals.

Speaking of criminals, look at these misfits at their jobs.

They are hard at work standing in an empty field rocking out. I really doubt, though, that being a Minuteman was a full-time job. It is really hard to be able to quit your day job as a musician. And the fact that they are so angry makes me think that they still had to work.

Ronald Reagan, sensing that class consciousness is arising, decides to find the dissidents and kill them.

Two of the musicians lean forward, yelling about their anger.

Due to the generally homophobic culture of the ’80s their kiss is edited out.

Instead we see the bass player impotently waving his fist and shouting.

He’s angry about his job. He’s angry that he can’t kiss who he wants in public. He’s just angry.

I love that the drummer just has a snare drum. He is clearly marshaling the troops.

We get a good shot of the singer and the bass player shouting.

To cement his low class status, the singer has a terrible neck beard and is overweight.

Suddenly, the band is shot at.

It’s amazing how this video is able to have these action sequences on such a low budget. It makes me mad how terrible so many newer videos are, mostly consisting of boring shots of the band on tour. Here is a video made for almost no money that has planes and gunshots. Use your ingenuity, people!

The singer looks up and spots his doom.

It’s Ronald Reagan, grim faced.

The bombs fall and explode.

The band refuses to be silenced! They rock from the rubble! They rock from beyond the grave!

Ronald Reagan says, “Gee whiz! I almost didn’t bomb those dissidents who have the gall to say that class exists in America!”

“But then I thought about my mother and I knew what to do.”

This video definitely does not feel like a public service announcement, but it shows that Minutemen don’t want to be treated like a machine. Punching in, moving metal, and then punching out. It’s not for them. It’s not for anybody. And they are mad about it!

-PTD

I used to be in a band. People would frequently ask what we sounded like. This is an annoying question to answer. If you say that you sound like another band, it makes you feel like your band is totally derivative. If you say that your band is a genre it gives the impression that your band fits exactly into a genre, which is something most musicians would not like to admit. Most of the time, of course, there is a band that you sound like and you fit perfectly into a genre. Saying that, though, would require you to be honest with yourself.

I make a point never to be honest with myself, though. Eventually I settled on saying that my band was like a white Vampire Weekend. I think you’ll see what I mean.

Holiday by Vampire Weekend:

On the face of it, this video is about the band in wigs cavorting around California acting like idiots. I think it’s more than that. The band wearing wigs and 18th century clothing represent moneyed Europeans. They are enthusiastic about seeing the world, but there is always distance between themselves and those they observe. They do not travel to experience the culture, but to act as detached observers. They see and judge. They always know that their culture is superior. This can sometimes lead to some conflicts.

The video opens with a celebration.

The band has brought their culture with them to California. They sit and play chess, amusing themselves in various ways.

Eventually, the band decides to see what California is all about so they go to a beach party.

They don sunglasses just like the natives traditionally do.

I don’t know what is happening here. They go fishing in a pool for bottles?

Seems pretty dangerous. But hey, when in Rome…

They decide to see what the California car culture is like, driving around in a rented convertible.

Seems okay. Footloose and fancy free.

Naturally, they go to a drive-through to sample some of the local cuisine.

They go to a beach.

I love how they make a tiny effort to fit in with the sunglasses, but keep their impractical clothes on at the beach. They are not trying to experience what it is like to be a Californian. They are true European colonialists. They’re glad to come look at the savages living their savage culture. But those savages are not people. This colors the Europeans’ observations somewhat.

One of the Europeans decides to try some of the face paint he sees those savages using.

Looking at native women, their bodies tantalizingly exposed, is key to any expedition into the savage lands.

Eventually, though, any European will grow bored with primitive cultures. “I’m not content,” he says.

That picture is pretty much the gold standard for someone who has ennui. Excellent.

The band decides to gorge themselves on food from their homeland.

Cake, specifically, which they let themselves eat.

Then, they decide to go out and show their superiority to the savages. They start by attacking a man on some sort of primitive vehicle.

It’s amazing these people even have the wheel.

Then, they go to the beach to pick a fight. They start by bumping into some surfers.

Beat the shit out of them.

And then mock them.

Who is the best? Europe is the best.

I hereby declare this video one of the top 5 funniest about colonialism

-PTD

During the mid-1980s music videos were still relatively new. While they had been around at least since the ’60s, MTV’s appearance at the beginning of the ’80s made music videos a must for any group trying to have hits. A lot more music videos were being made than ever before. As a result, there was a lot of experimentation going on. Bands had to experiment because there were no established rules. What should the band wear? Where should the band be playing? What kind of dance moves should people perform? What facial expressions are acceptable? Should the band members’ facial expressions match? All of these answers were up in the air and bands struggled to find them.

Sometimes the band would get all of these questions right and the results would be amazing. Sometimes the band would get all the questions wrong and the results would be even better.

For example, You’re My Heart, You’re My Soul by Modern Talking:

The director of this video recently bought some digital device that could make shapes on the screen and do crazy transitions and wipes between shots. Since it was brand new, he decided to use it on everything in the video. I think if you go through the transitions in this video you will find that every single one has a ridiculous effect. He also adds some dubious enhancement to other shots.

The video opens with everything pixellated for no reason.

Then we get to see the band. The whole video takes place in a smoky room. I don’t think the band members even move the whole video.

I also love what they are wearing. I imagine that the band had a discussion about this.

Blonde Guy:

What should we wear? Formal, or…

Brunette Guy (interrupting):

Casual. Definitely casual. But preppy.

Blonde Guy:

Okay, I think I know what you mean.

Brunette Guy:

Like a rich person from New England.

Blonde Guy:

Okay…

Brunette Guy:

Who went to Princeton.

Then, when they showed up for the video the brunette guy was wearing a white tux and the blonde guy felt like a real asshole.

Here’s a great transition:

It’s like the singer’s head is coming to get us.

His hair is excellent.

I don’t know how to describe his hair. It’s not messy, but it isn’t carefully sculpted. It definitely makes him look crazy. That’s probably what he was going for.

Then his head, crazy hair in tow, departs.

Returning us to the band.

The guitar player is trying so hard to by animated while the singer just stands there playing the keytar. I love the keytar. Why don’t bands use them any more? Is it because they are harder to play than regular keyboards and still don’t make you look cool?

We get a close-up of the guitar player’s face. He looks playful.

A little too playful. Possibly also coy? He’s a real creep.

The singer is imperious.

He seems angry that the guitar player is so playful. This is serious business.

For the second verse there is some quiet guitar, played backwards.

The guitar player acts like he is playing a rockin’ solo, though. He is pretty desperate for attention, which is strange in a two person band.

Here we get a whole new effect.

It’s like looking through a kaleidoscope and seeing a strange-haired German man in a bow tie.

That would be a pretty cool.

Everything in this video is wrong. It’s kind of boring, the band doesn’t end up seeming cool, and it doesn’t make me like the song more than I would otherwise. By getting every single detail wrong, though, we get the Springtime for Hitler effect. It becomes hilariously amazing. Great job, you two German weirdos!

-PTD