Dissecting music videos, both new and old, with jokes.

Modern Talking

Two Amazing Eurocreeps - You're My Heart, You're My Soul by Modern Talking

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During the mid-1980s music videos were still relatively new. While they had been around at least since the ’60s, MTV’s appearance at the beginning of the ’80s made music videos a must for any group trying to have hits. A lot more music videos were being made than ever before. As a result, there was a lot of experimentation going on. Bands had to experiment because there were no established rules. What should the band wear? Where should the band be playing? What kind of dance moves should people perform? What facial expressions are acceptable? Should the band members’ facial expressions match? All of these answers were up in the air and bands struggled to find them.

Sometimes the band would get all of these questions right and the results would be amazing. Sometimes the band would get all the questions wrong and the results would be even better.

For example, You’re My Heart, You’re My Soul by Modern Talking:

The director of this video recently bought some digital device that could make shapes on the screen and do crazy transitions and wipes between shots. Since it was brand new, he decided to use it on everything in the video. I think if you go through the transitions in this video you will find that every single one has a ridiculous effect. He also adds some dubious enhancement to other shots.

The video opens with everything pixellated for no reason.

Then we get to see the band. The whole video takes place in a smoky room. I don’t think the band members even move the whole video.

I also love what they are wearing. I imagine that the band had a discussion about this.

Blonde Guy:

What should we wear? Formal, or…

Brunette Guy (interrupting):

Casual. Definitely casual. But preppy.

Blonde Guy:

Okay, I think I know what you mean.

Brunette Guy:

Like a rich person from New England.

Blonde Guy:

Okay…

Brunette Guy:

Who went to Princeton.

Then, when they showed up for the video the brunette guy was wearing a white tux and the blonde guy felt like a real asshole.

Here’s a great transition:

It’s like the singer’s head is coming to get us.

His hair is excellent.

I don’t know how to describe his hair. It’s not messy, but it isn’t carefully sculpted. It definitely makes him look crazy. That’s probably what he was going for.

Then his head, crazy hair in tow, departs.

Returning us to the band.

The guitar player is trying so hard to by animated while the singer just stands there playing the keytar. I love the keytar. Why don’t bands use them any more? Is it because they are harder to play than regular keyboards and still don’t make you look cool?

We get a close-up of the guitar player’s face. He looks playful.

A little too playful. Possibly also coy? He’s a real creep.

The singer is imperious.

He seems angry that the guitar player is so playful. This is serious business.

For the second verse there is some quiet guitar, played backwards.

The guitar player acts like he is playing a rockin’ solo, though. He is pretty desperate for attention, which is strange in a two person band.

Here we get a whole new effect.

It’s like looking through a kaleidoscope and seeing a strange-haired German man in a bow tie.

That would be a pretty cool.

Everything in this video is wrong. It’s kind of boring, the band doesn’t end up seeming cool, and it doesn’t make me like the song more than I would otherwise. By getting every single detail wrong, though, we get the Springtime for Hitler effect. It becomes hilariously amazing. Great job, you two German weirdos!

-PTD